Eff Me I Have Writer’s Block.

There I am. Day 1 of getting back into writing Lila. Pretty excited when I started, but about ten minutes after taking this picture, it started going downhill. 

I was in my office, and immediately felt it wasn’t going to work. Surroundings are very important to me when I write. I have to be in the right place. So I unplugged my laptop from it’s office lifelines and walked into the living room.

I sat down on the couch, and started looking at the Word files I had created for Lila in 2005, 2006, and 2008. Fuck me, had it really been that long? Apparently yes, which was kind of a burn, because seriously I am writing basically a short story, not a novel, or even novella…why didn’t I finish this in 2005, 2006, or 2008? Beating myself up instead of writing. Typical.

Ten minutes after that I felt extremely tired. I had to nap. If I have to nap, it means I’m really tired, because really, I never nap. Or I’m avoiding writing.

I woke up cold. Apparently the jacket I pulled over myself while napping wasn’t enough. I got up, grabbed the “fetus” blanket, which is the most amazing $200 I’ve ever spent in my life and wrapped it around myself. It’s this soft, warm, grey blanket so comforting it feels like you’re back in the womb, or what I envision being in a womb must feel like. Safe. No writing.

I walked into the kitchen and tried to decide what I should…drink. You see today is also the first day of my seven-day juice fast. So, no eating. Just drinking. Juice. Maybe this is why I have writer’s block. I don’t think I’ve ever tried to write while juice fasting. I also kinda cheated and dipped a baby spoon into the honey jar, and let the honey melt on my tongue. I’m NOT supposed to have honey on my juice fast. Just juice. And tea. And vegetable broth. So I feel kinda bad about the honey.

I made tea. Some bizarre herbal tea from Poland with pear extract and some herb I can’t pronounce, but maybe the herb wasn’t good for my writer’s block…and I added lemon juice, and honey. I’m NOT supposed to have honey on my juice fast. Fuck.

And then to distract myself further I decided to Skype with my parents, which didn’t go well, because they just bitched about my sister, and about how I need to fly out to Toronto and talk some sense into her. Yet, they won’t pay for my plane ticket and a hotel room. Even though, hello! I have a life and clients, and need to work and write, and really can’t take the time off right now, or afford to take the time off right now. And really, why should I be paying for something THEY want me to do. Not that I don’t want to hang with my sis…

So another really great distraction for writer’s block is writing a blog about my writer’s blog. Yup…kinda a cop out. But whatever, it’s where I’m at.